Today we continue looking at what people who are good at being a friend have to say about being a friend. All of these beautiful insights are in response to, “How do you be a good friend?  What is important in friendship? Share your thoughts on how to become an awesome friend.”  Here is what some rock solid women in my life replied to this question:

Becoming a Good Friend:

“Honestly, I have sat with the Lord on more than a few occasions and cried sincere tears of sorrow because I was facing a situation that displayed my inability to be a good friend. It was in those moments of despair (not being dramatic, I was completely despairing) that I cried and asked God to change me and make me a better friend. So He has! And I love that that meant making changes that would not only help in friendship, but in my jobs, my family and my overall outlook of myself. He gave me security in Him. It was important for me to realize that if I did not become strong and healthy emotionally that I would never be very good at friendships. In fact, without emotional health I would forever be the “needy” one in the relationship. I actually hated it when I began to see a pattern of meeting with friends and me always crying about my hardships. I hated that I didn’t give them time pour out their hurts and pains,  but I seemed to dominate the time together. So that was the first step for me: Get health emotionally so that I can help my friends. Another thing that I have been learning is not being self-seeking. It has no good end to it. It has been strange to understand the difference between working to get myself healthy (learning to look out for myself and be confident) yet not being self-seeking. The one thing I have found to be important in this equation is humility. Being humble enough to not get crazy anxious about something I have done wrong, instead go to the Lord for my security (not being self-sufficient) and then going to the person I have wronged. Also knowing when it is not important to fight for what I want.”



What you need for Friendship:

“First what you need is just a real love for Jesus and people.
To want to be encouraging, helpful, to draw them closer to Jesus.
To do what I’d like someone to do for me if I was in that position.

The Lord puts people on my heart and he also gives me love for them.
Not always straight away, so I have to seek the Lord for that.

Encouragement is one powerful weapon against the enemy , so I’ll find ways to do that.
It means laying your life down. Not expecting anything back.”



Practical Advice for Cultivating Friendships:

“I run into woman feeling a lot like they don’t have any friends and I always say if you want frinds, be a friend. Don’t wait for people to be interested in your life be interested in theirs. Don’t wait for people serve you, serve them and you will have more friends then you know what to do with.
With that said I also mark a true friend or an “inner circle friend” by someone who is just as interested in my life as I am in theirs. That there is an equal give and take to the relationship. These can be hard to find but when you do hold onto them and it might take putting yourself out there a few times to find them. 
I try to tell people to make sure that you don’t have one friend meeting all your heart needs. First find you security in the Lord so you aren’t coming into friendship needy and insecure, but also get your love tank full from multiple friends. It is kinda like spreading out your investments…that way your not draining one relationship.
Also heathy confrontation should be apart of friendship and when its done right it actually brings you closer together. Some of the most unhealthy relationships come from people who try to get over hurts and fences but end up just stuffing them down until they explode rather then talking it through in healthy communication with the other person.”
I was originally going to throw in my own comments at the end of each of these, but each woman’s words hit me so strongly that it felt redundant to add anything.  I feel so thankful to hear all of this.  I just want to let these truths settle around in my heart for a bit.
Let me know what things in this post really hit home with you.